Protein Egg Nog

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Do you have your New Year's plans set? Did you find some sugar-free sparkling cider? Going full out with some champagne?

Well I know it's last minute but I just mixed up a nice batch of  protein sugar-free egg nog and OF COURSE I had to share the love with you all!

Sugar-free Egg Nog

3 cups skim milk

2 scoops vanilla protein powder

1 package sugar-free, fat-free vanilla pudding mix

1/4 c. Davinci Butter Rum syrup

1/4 tsp nutmeg (or to taste)

1/2 tsp cinnamon (or to taste)

Directions:

Place all ingredients in the blender and blend away! Serve chilled in glasses with a sprinkle of nutmeg on top.

I wish you all the best in the new year. I look forward to cooking (and eating) good food and maintaining our good health together!

The Moment You've ALL been waiting for...

I have been promising my shrimp egg foo young recipe for forever right? The main reason I haven't posted it is because...well, to be frank, this blog is very real in my life. If I make it I gotta eat it and my pouch has not been feeling eggs so much lately. So I apologize for the hold-up.

I also apologize that you are not getting *my* recipe today either BUT...(don't walk away mad...come back here...)

The wonderful, beautiful, GODDESS of a WLS-cook Eggface has posted her recipe for shrimp egg foo young which is very similar to mine and it looks hella tasty! So mosey on over to "The World According to Eggface" and check it out. Then make it. Cuz it's good!

Protein Pumpkin Roll Cake

So we at Bariatric Foodie are all about equal opportunity. We believe that post-op WLS patients have the same right to yummy food as everyone else.

We also believe we should have our own indulgences.

The account that follows is my attempt to fulfill an indulgence of my own. Please take note of a few things before we start on this thrilling journey.

#1 - this recipe was not intended to be low-cal or low-fat. Thus, it is an "occasion" treat. Thus, the indulgence

#2 - This was my very first attempt at this so this about as real as it gets

#3 - anyone remotely in the area of Baltimore...please be sure to read the request underlined at the bottom.

Moving right along...

Protein Pumpkin Roll Cake

(oh no she DI'INT...oh yes she did) Ok so our journey starts out with the main ingredients, pictured here:

We start with a very basic protein pumpkin cake batter:
Wet ingredients:
1/2 c. Splenda (modified from original recipe because 1 c. was too much!)
1/2 c. canned pumpkin (not pie filling, but pumpkin)
1/4 c. Brown Sugar Twin
3 tbsp Blue Bonnet Light (or I can't believe it's...yadda...yadda...)
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

Dry Ingredients:
5 scoops vanilla whey protein powder
2.5 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Mix together wet ingredients well. Sift in dry ingredients. Mix until blended. Simple right? It should look something like this:

So once I did that I had to figure out how to make a long, flat cake. Seemed to me the best way to do it was to line a cookie sheet w/ foil, spray it down and cook the cake on that. So that's precisely what I did. And I baked on 350 for 10 minutes. Yes, only 10 minutes. Seriously. Here's what it looked like out of the oven:
Now it is VERY important with roll cakes to let the cake cool. I know you're excited. I was too. But we had to let the thing cool! The cooling process gave me time to contemplate what the heck I was gonna fill this puppy with. I had this whole grand scheme in my head involving ricotta cheese and cream cheese and all that jazz but...being that we just had a blizzard and I was not willing to trek out in the snow to procure ricotta...the cream cheese would have to do. Here's what I used.

Filling:2 - 8 oz. packages Neufchatel cheese (1/3 less fat cream cheese)
1/2 c. Splenda
4 tbsp SF caramel syrup

Yummmmmmmeeeee...oh? Wha? Yes, yes...getting back to it. So I skipped a part actually. Once I took the thing out of the oven I needed to transfer it so I could peel the backing:


Then I lined the first cookie sheet with plastic wrap and transfered the cake back onto it. There...now we're in the right place. So I iced the thing (and it looked so pretty and flat...I was so mesmerized that I forgot to take a pic at this stage). So here came the real test: could a protein cake roll?

It CAN! It DID! So here is the finished product which isn't the greatest looking thing in the world but this was my first time.



And here is what a slice looks like.


Don't ask me how many calories this is. I don't know. Probably a gamillionty seven. As I said above, I was not aiming for low-cal this time. I was aiming for a roll cake. Now that I know this is possible I can work on low-cal. So I know what you are wondering now. How did it taste?

That's where we get back to the Baltimore folks. If you live anywhere near Baltimore City...come help me eat this cake or so help me God you will find me on the floor with pumpkin roll cake hanging out of my mouth and a glazed expression on my face!
...that's it...now go make this. It's good!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Bariatric Foodie!

This is some seriously sexy protein

I'm delving into a different kind of protein shake. One for the "grown and sexy" set. Ladies who take martinis in the morning and their lovers in the afternoon and all that jazz...

So why the pic of Eartha Kitt? Well...if she was a post-RNY patient she is EXACTLY the kind of person who would drink this sophisticated shake. (That and...I think grown and sexy and a mental picture of Eartha Kitt pops up...I dunno why)

Chocolate Orange Liquer Protein Shake

8 oz skim milk
1 scoop chocolate whey
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tbsp sugar-free Davinci Butter Rum syrup
1/2 a sugar-free orange drink stick
1 tablespoon Splenda (I used 1.5 to offset the bitterness of the cocoa)

You can either blend with ice or serve over ice. Use whippage or just put it in a sexy glass and feel sexy sipping it. Go ahead...you know you wanna...

Apple Brown Nikki

So I wasn't going to post this recipe. Because I thought it would be kinda cruddy to post a WLS friendly dessert two days after Thanksgiving. But here's the deal.

This got a command encore.

So here's how the whole thing went down. I bring my sugar-free, high-fiber dessert to Thanksgiving dinner. I advertised it as sugar-free which, theoretically, meant all non-ops would stay far, far away from it. Ate my dinner (two damn bites and I was down for the count y'all) and took a nice nap. Woke up and...found my dessert pillaged??? The culprits? The men. The very ones who recoil at the words "fiber" and "healthy." Go figure.

With crumble spilling from their mouths they managed to mumble "Grmbledeeburblebop" which can be loosely translated as "you have GOT to make this again." So I did!

I call it "Apple Brown Nikki" because a) it has apples b) it is brown c) I am Nikki and I cooked it and d) I, too, am brown

So consider this one of many Christmas presents.

Apple Brown Nikki

5 - 6 Granny Smith Apples peeled, cored, and sliced
3 tbsp Blue Bonnett Light (or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light...I'm not picky)
1 cup + 1 tbsp Splenda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 chopped hazelnuts
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1 cup Honey Bunches of Oats cereal
1/2 cup Fiber One cereal

Directions:

1. In a pan, melt "butter." Add apples, cup of Splenda, cinnamon, and nutmeg and sautee until apples are considerably softened. Set aside.

2. In a dry pan, toast the hazelnuts and walnuts until browned.

3. In a blender or food processor, combine both types of cereal, remaining Splenda, and nuts until a crumb mixture forms.

4. Place apples in a casserole dish (I used a 9 x 13). Top with crumb mixture and bake at 350 for about 30 minutes or until apple mixture is bubbling up through openings in the crumb AND crumb mixture is brown.

This goes well with fat-free whipped cream (pictured) OR if you are trying to use up all your carb allowance for...um...life...Wal-Mart makes a pretty decent no-sugar added, fat-free vanilla ice cream. I'm just sayin'...

Lemon-Ginger Butternut Squash & Carrot Soup

Ok...so not the best word association. But "orange" ya glad I didn't do that knock-knock joke?

(chirp...chirp...) Ok...moving on...

If you don't like vegetables, quite frankly, I think you might be crazy. Ok, that's mean. But seriously. Veggies have so much to offer in the way of flavor. And flavor is the one thing we THINK we lose in the equation of WLS but really we don't. We just have to change the way we produce flavor.

Take this little gem of a bowl here--I ought to call this beta-carotene in a bowl. But the actual contents kinda sound prettier.

Lemon-ginger butternut squash and carrot soup (long but still better than beta-carotene soup)

You are going to freak at how simple this whole set-up is.

Ingredients:

1 butternut squash, peeled, roasted, and cubed
1 package of shredded carrots (or you could shred them yourself. About a cup and a half)
Juice of one lemon + 1/2 tsp lemon zest
1 can chicken broth
1 cup 0% fat Greek yogurt
2 tsp minced garlic
2 tsp grated ginger
2-3 tbsp Splenda (or to taste)

Directions:

1. Bring chicken broth to a boil, reduce heat, and add garlic, lemon juice and zest and ginger.
2. Once that simmers to a boil add your squash and carrots. Cover and simmer about 30 minutes or so.
3. Add yogurt and, using an immersion blender, blend the mixture until thoroughly pureed. If you don't have an immersion blender, do it in batches in a traditional blender.

This is a bowl of comfort. Seriously. And it's a good way for new post-ops to get their veggies in. If you want to up the protein anty, add about a 1/2 cup - 1 cup reconstituted tvp before blending.

Ok, off to go find a stick of gum...I've eaten too much of this already!

...And the people have spoken

The analytics from this blog show an ASTOUNDING increase in hits after the whoopie pie video. And they also show that people come to this blog looking for sweets.

Ok, so I'll post more sweets - all you hadda do was ask!

But now I need to know what you like. Anything you've wanted since surgery that you have had trouble working in? Anything you thought could NEVER be sugar-free?

In the name of science I am obligated to test my hypothesis that there is nothing you can't make WLS friendly. So come friends...let us put it to the test!

If you have a suggestion or request, post it in the comments. Let's see if we can make magic together!

Protein Whoopie Pies

So I keep hearing about these things called "whoopie pies." Now some purists might say that this is a food that cannot be WLS friendly. BUT I SAY NAY!!! So I decided to try. But more than that...I decided to take you guys along with me for the ride...whether you wanna go or not!



Now I know what you want to ask having seen that. How do I make a protein brownie?!?! The recipe is right here on the blog and linked for your convenience ('cept I modified a bit. Skipped the Blue Bonnet Light and just used applesauce. Warning: these need to chill in the fridge for an hour or two to "come into" their full sweetness). Now with all that information in hand... go make whoopie people!!!! Do it for yourselves. Do it for your significant other. Do it for your country!!!

Chai Latte Protein Shake

I know what you're thinking. "Where the HELL has she been????" Well, in the span of the last month me and my little divas have all battled the flu monster--and won! Yay! So now that we are on the mend I am going to get back to the business of numminess! Look for a vid this weekend (I hope by speaking this it will motivate it to actually happen).



For this week's shake recipe, I present to you a riff on a favorite Starbucks concoction. A cold chai tea latte. As many of you know, chai is a smooth, creamy, aromatic tea from India. I love, love, love me some Chai. It is comfort in a cup.

This shake uses my new favorite bottle of Davinci--Chai Concentrate! This concentrate is easy to use. It can be mixed into hot or cold drinks and the best thing for me is that it requires no extra sweetening to "make it do what it do." From me that is saying something.

Chai Latte Protein Shake

8 oz. skim milk
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1 tbsp butterscotch pudding mix
2 tbsp Chai Concentrate

Directions:

Put all ingredients in a blender and whiz it. If you like a milkshake-type shake add enough ice to break the surface of the liquid and whiz again. WARNING: if you do this it will yield a BIG shake. You might want to halve the recipe or find a friend to share the love with! If you are not using ice, cut the chai concentrate in half, a little goes a loooooong way!

Pour it in a pretty glass. Top with fat free whipped cream. Dust with cinnamon to make it look purdy and SLURP!

This my breakfast this morning and...mmmmmmmm (slurp, slurp)....I'm sorry...what were we talking about again?

Chicken Pot Pie (a la Nik)

Any way you slice it, this dish doesn't photograph well. So what are you gonna do?

EAT IT!!!

What is it? Oh, yeah well there is that. This...my friends, is chicken pot pie a la Nik. It takes every bit as yummy (dare I say yummier?) than that Banquet stuff but it's nutritionally beneficial.

FOR THE CARB POLICE: there is a minimal amount of potato in this. Just a little. But I'm sorry. I got better things to do with my time than pick potatoes out of a can of mixed veggies. Besides, potatoes are not the devil. Brocolli/Cheese sauce, bacon, full-fat sour cream and the like are! (Kidding)

Chicken Pot Pie a la Nik

Ingredients:

For Pie:

Two 6 oz. chicken breasts, cut into cubes
1 small onion diced
2 cans mixed vegetables, drained and rinsed
1 jar Heinz fat-free chicken gravy
Salt and pepper to taste

For Crust:
1 cup Carbquik
2 tablespoons Blue Bonnet Light
3/4 c. skim milk
1/2 cup shredded mild cheddar cheese
Directions:
1. Spray a pan with cooking spray and cook chicken until done through, seasoning lightly.
2. Transfer chicken to a casserole dish and then sautee mixed veggies in chicken leavings.
3. Combine chicken and veggies and mix in chicken gravy thoroughly.
4. In a bowl combine all crust ingredients except cheese. Mix well. Add cheese and mix again.
5. Spread Carbquik mixture over chicken mixture in an even layer.
6. Bake in a 350 oven for 30 minutes and serve hot!
I say eat this when you are sick because it is the epitome of comfort food--without the guilt! The Carbquik has so few carbs, the gravy is fat free, the chicken is lean and you've rinsed a good deal of the sodium off the canned veggies. Quick, hella tasty, and healthy--THAT my friends is comfort food. Food you feel comfortable eating.

Not your mama's french fry...

Ok...so here's the thing about carbs. You can't avoid them. Why? Because your body uses every nutrient you take in for some purpose. In our former lives maybe we didn't move so much so our body used it to store as fat for a "rainy day." Nowadays, maybe we move a little more and our bodies use it for quick energy.

Newbies, pay attention to the following phrase: with starches, the ONLY way to achieve low-carb is to have lots of fiber. This bears repeating: with starches the ONLY way to achieve low-carb status is to increase the fiber. Food companies are not your friend with the nutrition labels. They use words such as "100% whole grain" and "low-carb" very liberally. Check the label. If it has 30g of carbs but only 2g of fiber...it ain't low carb even if it says it is 100% "whole grain." Yes, whole grains are better for you. They burn slower than white carbs, but they are still carbs and should be budgeted accordingly.

All that being said, we need carbs but we ESPECIALLY need fiber. I don't get enough most days but I'm working on it, slowly but surely. The above is a yummy way I seek to achieve fiber.

Raise your hand if you've been to a restaurant and had the fried zucchini? (raises hand) It was gooooood wasn't it? It was nice and yummy and salty and crunchy and all the things that are wonderful about fried foods. Well...this recipe is not that. Because fried in a restaurant always means more fat than you want to take for the amount of calories.

So, here's what I make. I like it because I can get my kids involved in the making (kids love dredging for some reason...) and at the end of it you have several yummy snacks that you can bag up for your lunch box.

Nik's interpretation of "fried" zucchini
makes 4 servings

Ingredients:

1 small zucchini, sliced into strips that are about a quarter of an inch thick and 1.5-2 inches long
1/2 c. Fiber One twig cereal pulverized
1/4 c. Parmesan cheese
1/4 c. soy flour
salt, pepper, season all
2 egg whites

Directions:

1. Combine soy flour, salt, pepper, and season all and put on a plate

2. Combine crushed cereal and parmesan and set on another plate

3. Beat egg whites slightly and then set in a bowl

4. Dry zucchini strips with a paper towel then dredge in flour, egg, cereal. Repeat egg and cereal if you do not get good coverage

5. Lay out on a sprayed cookie sheet then bake at 375 for about 15 minutes

With these I like to have some sort of dipping sauce. My current favorite is bacon ranch. This can be done one of two ways:

Quickie method: combine 2 tbsp of lowfat ranch dressing with 1 tbsp imitation bacon bits
More involved method: mix a container of unflavored Greek yogurt with dry ranch mix to make up a batch of dressing. Mix 2 tbsp of that with 1 tbsp imitation bacon bits (this method has more protein than the quickie version)

So there you have it...this snack does NOT boast great protein numbers but it is one way to get your fiber and a serving of your vegetables for the day, which is important!

Newbies!

Y'all damn near broke my camera! Seriously! I tried three times to do the newbie video and my camera when apeshit. So I have to take a short hiatus from the cooking show. I plan to put up a short PSA-style vid this week but the longer ones...well they probably should be shorter anyway but even so anything longer than 5 minutes is going to take a while.

Bear with me through these technical difficulties.

What I was going to show you were some neat things you could do to get protein in when you are early out. One very easy way to get in good protein when you can only eat soft stuff is by eating greek yogurt. Now I cannot tell you how many folks I've seen on the boards who excitedly bought Greek yogurt (unflavored like good lil' boys and girls), tasted it and...HATED IT!

Some advice...never eat plain Greek yogurt without anything else...unless, that is, you like eating sour cream by itself because that's what it'll taste like.

So for your consideration I'd like to present..."Nik's Top 5 Super-Easy, Super-Fast" things to do with Greek yogurt (in no particular order):

1. Mix it with a bit of Splenda and sugar free syrup and throw some fresh blueberries on top
2. Mix with PB2 and Splenda for yummy peanut butter yogurt!
3. Mix a container with onion soup mix to use as a veggie dip
4. Mix with some ketchup and mustard to make French dressing
5. Throw it on top of my breakfast tostada, Mexican omelette, taco salad, etc. and use it as sour cream!!!

So the videos, God-willing, will be back next week. Stick with me please!

Nik's Guide to Salad Dressing Bliss...

I love salads. Do you love salads? Or did you pre-op. Some of you can’t yet tolerate raw veggies and for that I am sorry…but there is hope! Salad is one of my favorite things to eat because it is one of the only things I eat that looks like “normal people food.” Sorta. I can eat a full salad plate of salad and be fine. Of course I add a protein source right on top (forcing the “protein first” rule) and by the way I dig my way down to plate level I am stuffed. I like to be stuffed. But that’s just me. They say eat until you are satisfied but my brain just doesn’t understand that. But enough about my issues.

One thing I used to do in my former life is drench my salad in dressing. Which basically rendered it nutritionally void. But no more! Don’t get me wrong…I still drench my salad in dressing…I just make sure the dressing is working for me and not against me.

So here are a couple of ideas to get you started on how you too can drench your salads in dressing and still come out on top of the numbers game.

Italian dressing – hands down I always use Kraft Free Zesty Italian. 2 tbsp = 15 calories and no fat! You can’t beat that. My max dressing budget tends to hover around 50 calories. Using that I could theoretically have 5 tbsp of this stuff but 2 suffices.

Creamy Italian – now this one usually gets folks in trouble. But fear not! Your girl Cleo has your back. You all have heard of greek yogurt, right? (snicker). Mix 1-2 tbsp Greek yogurt with 1-2 tbsp of the aforementioned Italian dressing (one part:one part), add some black pepper (from a grinder if you have one…it really is better) and voila! Creamy Italian that has protein! Using the 2 tbsp:2 tsp, this comes out to 30 calores, 2.8g protein.

French dressing – surely Nik can’t be suggesting we can eat French dressing after weight loss surgery! Blashphemy! Burn her at the stake! Seriously…you can have it…mix 2 tbsp Greek yogurt, w/ 1 tbsp no sugar added ketchup, 1 tbsp mustard and 1 packet of Splenda. Mix well. Taste. Yes? Yes? I told ya! Stats? Also 30 calories, 2.8g protein. No fat by the way.

Thousand Island dressing – Yep, even that too! Use the above recipe, but add a tsp of no sugar added relish. 32.5 calories, no fat, 2.8g protein.

Do you see where I am going with this? You can have dressing. You really can. And when you make it yourself with the right ingredients you can have a boat load of it. One piece of advice for those who don’t already do it—toss your salad (interject obligatory 12 year old immaturity moment here-à tee-hee…I said “toss your salad”…). You get way better coverage when you do and in my little opinion that yields way more satisfaction than dipping your salad in some little cup of dressing. Tossing means you get dressing on every bite and you’d be surprised how little dressing it actually takes to make a salad good.

And one final note--You all know me. You've seen me on camera, heard my voice. So I want to say this for all the world to hear. I'm not one of those people who wants everyone to follow my recipes like a religion or something. It brings me great joy to see you all take what I post and make it your own. So play around with these recipes and make your own variations. The possibilities are endless! And if you come up with something good...send me a note! I love to hear about your adventures in the kitchen!

Happy munching everyone!

Pumpkin Pie Protein Shake

Fall is upon us and everyone seems to have their own variation of a pumpkin pie protein shake. All are worthy in my little opinion and all serve different purposes. Pumpkins are nutritionally a great food containing beta carotene and a whole host of vitamins and minerals. So pumpkin pie protein shakes with pureed pumpkin are a more than worthy choice.

The recipe I am sharing today is for a specific situation. Picture it, your life, and it's eight-ish in the evening. You had a luncheon at work today and you went a little nutso with the potluck noodle dish. Your calories are this close to being too high and you still need a good dose of protein to bring your day into balance. The following variation of the pumpkin pie protein shake is for you!

This makes a great low-cal variation to any protein shake arsenal!

Nik's Pumpkin Spice Protein Shake

8 oz. milk (skim, soy, whatever...)

1 scoop vanilla whey
2 tbsp canned pumpkin
1/8 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or sugar-free Pumpkin Pie syrup if you have it)
6-8 cubes of ice

Optional: 2 packets of Splenda, a dollop of "whippage" (whipped cream)

A Day in the Life of My Pouch

Hello my lovelies…

The video is still coming. I know you don’t believe me but it is…

So my friend Pam did a “day in the life” sort of post which detailed what she did and when. She did hers in live time. Unfortunately I don’t have the liberty of doing that at work so while I am posting a “day in the life” sort of post, it’s not live. Although I am committed to writing as I go and not going back and changing any thoughts I had previously to be as honest as possible. And mine won’t have pictures. Ok, so maybe that’s not so exciting but perhaps it’ll be helpful to those out there who wonder how to fit all the stuff in that is required of us.
So without further ado…

6:15 a.m. I just woke up and am writing this post. For whatever strange reason I have been sleeping really deeply and well lately (that is not a complaint by the way). I suspect it’s because I have not been exercising. Tonight is gym night so we shall put that theory to the test. I am munching on a protein brownie, mostly because the trainers at the Y say we should eat something within 30 minutes of waking, but also because last night they didn’t seem sweet enough. But after licking the batter bowl (that’s the good thing about these brownies…licking the batter bowl=getting your protein!) I thought maybe my sweetness sensors were a bit off. As I chew, I still think they could be a bit sweeter (what possessed me to only use ¾ c. Splenda?!?!?) but they are very good and another one will pair nicely with my last scoop of roasted banana protein ice cream. The teapot is whistling so it’s time to make my instant decaf protein coffee so I can get going!!!

8:30 a.m. I can drink plain water again! Woo-hoo! This revelation is thanks to the fact that I forgot to pack sugar-free drink sticks for the day. But I’m so glad I know that now! For nearly two years I’ve avoided plain water because it made my stomach hurt. Maybe, just maybe, I am becoming a normal person again! I forgot to mention in my last entry that I took my multi-vitamin and my first calcium dose with my protein coffee. Since I brew my coffee and then ice it down I let it sit for a while before drinking it so yes I did observe the 30/30 rule also. The protein coffee was 113 calories, 26 grams of protein.

9:30 a.m. I don’t like this whole “pre-breakfast” and then “breakfast” thing. I’m not really hungry and yet it’s time for my next mini-meal. Eating when not hungry does NOT induce food joy. I will eat the ruddy thing, but only because if I don’t my calories will be off for the day. I am having a sausage/cheese biscuit. The biscuit is made from Carbquik, a mix made from carbalose flour which is high in fiber and low in net carbs. The biscuits come out to around 100 calories, the homemade pork sausage is about 135 calories, the slice of cheese is 50 calories and the whole thing has 23g protein, 11g of fiber. So good, filling stuff and, yes, I am FULL!

10:30 a.m. Coffee=good. Yes, I am drinking the real stuff. Fairly Traded coffee at that! Iced with a couple packets of Splenda. My protein decaf this morning was about 24 oz. so I feel I am justified in a 12 oz. cup of coffee. Mmmmmm…

11:20 a.m. Drinking some rooibos tea. Rooibos is decaf tea and it has a sort of candy-like taste to it. Not much sweetener needed, even for us sugar crackheads! Now if we follow the rule of all non-carbonated/decaffeinated drinks count toward my liquid totals, my Rooibos puts me at 52 oz. of liquid (24 for my protein decaf, 16 oz. glass of plain water, 12 oz. Rooibos tea).

1:20 p.m. Just back from sushi. I LOVE SUSHI! Pouch capacity is way huge. I can eat 8 pieces and not feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. The good thing though is that my lunch special came with 12...and I only ate 8. Those who know me know that was a bit painful but I got through it. I had some miso soup before and afterward a friend and I walked to Cross Street market (one of B'mores FAMOUS open air markets!) and I found a stall that has a whole section of sugar-free chocolates. Someone explain to me why I bought a whole damn box?!?!? I put them in the freezer. In the bag. Underneath the brussells sprouts. Hopefully that will keep the urges at bay. Freezing chocolates usually works well because I have no patience. If I want chocolate, I want chocolate. With my little treats frozen, nine times outta ten I'll get a protein shake instead!

5:00 p.m. Had a reception at work. THEY KNOW CHEESE IS MY WEAKNESS! It's a conspiracy I tell you. Ok, so here's the damage: 5 crackers with spinach dip, a handful of nuts, probably about 6 cubes of cheese, 3 cubes of ham, 3 cubes of salami. This is over the course of an hour and a half mind you. I can console myself in the fact that it was mostly protein. But the carbs have won for today...I am SO full!

7:09 p.m. Ok...so it looks like I am NOT going to the gym AGAIN! I have to learn to say no to family and friends in the interest of my journey. I really do. Sigh...taking my iron pill and vitamin C. I'm late on that. Still have 2 doses of calcium/vitamin D to take but that's no problem. Had a spoonful of PB...since the day has gone to hell anyway...that, by the way, is called justification kids. Let's sound it out together...jus-tif-ick-ay-shun...

10:36 p.m. You ever have one of those days where you have to look yourself in the mirror and say...you did NOT do a good job today? This is one of those days for me. But I feel blessed to be sharing that kind of day with you because a) it helps folks see that even people further out struggle b) those struggles can be overcome and c) it makes me want to come back tomorrow and say, "look! I did better today!" Ok, so went to drop the divas off to their aunt. While there had a fried chicken drumstick. WHY???? They always, always, ALWAYS make me queasy. Today is no exception. So m0ving on...Went to my mom's house and did a 'Bux run with my brother. That wasn't too bad. Venti Decaf Americano with Splenda and no cream. Okey dokey smokey...so I get home and of course now I have a wicked craving for something sweet and so I just scarfed a choconana protein cake w/ a smear of PB. Thank GOD I didn't make the cake with flour. All in all, the day just sucked food-wise but there is one lesson I can impart:

Make sure that even your worst indiscretions are at least ok food decisions. The fried chicken notwithstanding, my worst indiscretion today was a few crackers. I can live with that. Besides, if history is accurate, tomorrow will be a very small pouch day.

I'm going to make myself a cup of herbal tea and call it a night.

Oh btw...I did get my vitamins in and more than 64 oz. of fluid. And a LOT of calories.

G'night folks!

Chocolate Cake (thanks to a Plump Kitty)

The video is coming people! Be patient! YIKES!

It's for newbies anyway so...there ya go..."old timers" there's one coming for you this week too I(and if you LOVE Chinese take-out this will be a MUST WATCH).

Ok, so some exciting stuff on the OH front. Our beloved Plump Kitty (aka "PK" originator of the meat crust pizza) has come home to us! She's been through the rigamarole of life and has the battle scars to prove it but she's one tough chick who is hanging in there and I LOVE HER! You should too :) So anyhoo...first order of business after returning home to OH? Posting yummy recipes of course! Her original recipe was for banana bread but I tweaked it into a choco-nana cake. Hers is made in a bundt cake pan whereas I made mine in a mini-loaf pan (I got issues with portion control), but it is YUMMY. It is chocolatey, real cake consistency and...check it...NO FLOUR!!! This mini-loaf (which will fill an old timer up...a newbie would get through maybe 1/2) has only 6 net grams of carbs and 115 calories and, get this...18g of protein...for chocolate cake!!! This WILL be my birthday cake. I am getting some mini-cake pans asap. My birthday is December 4 for all anyone who would like to send a gift ;)

PK inspired choco-nana cake
1 3/4 c. chocolate whey powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
Wet Ingredients
3 eggs, beaten
1 c. Splenda
1.5 very, very, very, VERY ripe bananas (we're talking brown here people – btw brown bananas are fine usually they are just sugary as all hell so if you bake with them, don’t add so much sweetener)
1/3 c. unflavored greek yogurt
1/3 c. NSA apple sauce (ugh! Why does the formatting always change on me??? Anyway I subbed apple sauce for the margarine)
1/3 c. baking cocoa (unsweetened)

Directions are same as PK’s original recipe:
1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees
2. Mix together banana, Splenda, eggs, cocoa and apple sauce for 3 minutes
3. Sift whey powder, salt, baking soda, and baking powder into a separate bowl
4. Mix dry ingredients into wet ingredients and mix well
5. Pour into WELL- SPRAYED baking pan (I have problems with portion control so I used my mini-loaf pan)
6. For my mini-loaf pan I’d say bake about 25 minutes but for the bundt PK suggests, bake 40 minutes. Either way bake until a toothpick comes out clean.

Verdict: These smell WONDERFUL and look like little brownie loaves. PK...if this is as yummy as it looks...I'm coming for you gal! We already got a RNY cooking commune in the dessert and we will treat you like ROYALTY!!!ETA: Verdict - Girls, get the van! We're going to pick 'er up! It is rich and chocolatey and has the consistency of an Eggface 5 minute cake. I think this could be a VERY good protein cupcake recipe (or just cake if you have a mini-cake pan and make it for your birthday). The over ripe bananas made the flavor of the banana come through without have to use so many of them (for future reference if your bananas are just very, very ripe instead of very, very very, very ripe then you can bake them in the oven for about 5-10 minutes (until the skins turn brown) and get the same effect. I topped with some lowfat cream cheese. Oh. My. NOM!

Peanut Brittle Protein Shake

You know this can't be my blog without some sort of shout out to peanuts! They are one of my favorite foods. I wish I could eat more of them but justifying the fat is hard y'all. I work as much peanut action into my day as possible though.

Folks often ask me how I make peanuts work in my plan. I've been blessed to know some savvy post-ops who hipped me to some cool peanut products that's how! Here are some of my favorites:

PB2 - this is powdered peanuts (NOT powdered peanut butter--there is no butter. It's just peanuts). These are made by a company called Bell Plantations whose primary product is peanut oil. But being the geniuses they are they found that after pressing the oil from the peanuts there was this ground peanut powder left over. And so a great product was born! I use it in shakes and other places where I want peanut butter taste without peanut butter calories. 2 tbsp of traditional peanut butter= 180 calories, PB2=54.25 calories. Viva la difference!

Power PB - not to be confused with Power Butter, which is also a worthy product but the stats on Power PB come in WAY better. It has lots of protein (2 tbsp=12g protein vs. traditional peanut butter=7g) for less calories (2 tbsp Power PB=about 160 calories vs. traditional peanut butter=180), plus it has flax seeds, an additional source of good fat.

Inspire Peanut Butter cookie protein powder - a friend from OH sent me this and I've been hankering to get my grubby little hands on some more ever since! It is a good base for any peanut inspired protein shake, protein ice cream or other protein snack.

So with all that in mind, I present this week's protein shake offering. Ridiculously simple yet simply delicious!

Peanut brittle protein shake

8 oz. skim milk
2 tbsp PB2
1 scoop vanilla whey (or peanut butter cookie powder if you have it)
2 tablespoons sugar free English Toffee syrup (Torani/Davinci - if you don't have this syrup, a little bit of maple extract would work well. Slightly different flavor but still good!)
1 tbsp sugar free/fat free butterscotch pudding mix 5-6 cubes of ice

Put all ingredients except ice in the blender and whiz. Add ice and whiz again.

Yum, yum, YUM. Top with a little bit of whippage and you're good to go! And don't feel guilty when you drink this. Because not only is it not bad on calories and great on protein, but you are doing your duty to WLS rules!
If this is your first time on this blog, check out these other protein shake resources:

Basic How-to video
And if you want to catch up on the recipes we've done so far:



Click Frapp

Bananas Foster

Peppermint Paddy



And last but not least an update. The Eggs Rosette movement is still going strong! This one is from Bugpuddin on OH, who describes this as her "sauteed mushrooms, chopped freshspinach & asiago cheese" which is even better, she says than her fresh basil and feta cheese rosettes.

Ok, Bugpuddin honey...have my room ready by Friday. I'm moving in, k?




If you've made a version of the rosettes and are willing to share, e-mail me please! I am working on a rosette collage of sorts.

How to Make WLS-friendly Chicken Enchiladas

So ok...this video is a bit choppy. We tried some new methods of shooting stuff to make it more condensed. So put all that aside. Let me show you something...THIS is what you get at the end of the experience...

So what's a few bad edits in exchange for THIS???

This blog is in real time people...and in real time it is 7:15, I am half naked in bed and my kids have to be at school in 30 minutes so...written recipe later! Enjoy!

Peppermint Patty Protein Shake

As in Peppermint Paddy. And no…I am not talking about the girl from the Peanuts cartoons. I am talking about the velvety, refreshing, makes-your-mouth-say “AMEN!” taste of a peppermint paddy.

Before I give up the goods I gotta tell you a story about these little treats. When I was younger my great-grandmother used to keep a candy dish full of them out for company. I was always a food hoarder. I think I was scared everyone else would take all of what I wanted, so I was always skivvying things to the side. Well my great-grandma would find my hidden treasures and chide me for being stingy. Desperate to hide away these treats for myself I put them in the one place I knew she wouldn’t look—the freezer! My great-grandma regularly fed an army of people (most of whom did not live in her house), so food rarely made it to the freezer in the fridge. Instead she kept large bolts of meat and such in a chest freezer to which she sent me and my cousins all day long because she was always roasting, plucking, or braising something. Anyhoo…I remember that during the summer when I’d stay with her I’d find a stolen moment and retrieve those little silvery beauties and could hardly wait for them to thaw a bit so I could take that first deliciously arctic bite!

MMMMMM…memories…

So I didn’t know what to expect out of Davinci’s sugar-free peppermint paddy syrup. Now had I remembered reading “Fast Food Nation” I should have known that in a lab you can create darn near any flavor combination and that most flavor/scent combos we associate with “real food” are actually scientifically engineered (sorry if I ruined food for you…but I had to find out eventually and so do you…fortunately, I still love to eat so I got over it). Even still, I mixed this up first as a non-protein drink (as a frozen hot chocolate) and was taken aback by how GOOD it is! And so simple! So I started to tinker. Because I knew what I wanted—a thick, creamy, deliciously chocolatey shake with that unforgettable minty finish.

I am proud to present to you what I came up with.

Nik’s “get the sensation” Peppermint Paddy Protein Shake

 8 oz. skim milk (this is one where you could really go for something like Hood Calorie Countdown and put the calories saved to other uses)

1 tbsp sugar-free fat free chocolate pudding mix (see…that’s where those calories can go—to thickening it up and making it CREEEEAMY…)

1 scoop chocolate whey

1 capful of Torani/Davinci chocolate syrup (Optional to bump up the chocolateyness a bit—is that even a word?)

2 tbsp SF Peppermint Paddy syrup (if you don't have this syrup, you could use a drop-JUST ONE-of peppermint extract and a drop of imitation or real vanilla extract)

5-8 ice cubes

Directions:

Combine everything but the ice in a blender. Blend about 10-15 seconds. Add ice and blend again until all ice is crushed. Pour and enjoy!

Everything about this shake makes me feel like I am doing something I’m not supposed to be doing. But I’m not! And that makes me feel like I am getting over, which actually feels GOOD!

Who knew losing weight could be this yummy?

Fast Food Swap: Low-Carb Apple Pie Pockets

I do too! So I tinkered around in the kitchen and came up with these babies.

Mind you they are still on the moderation list. They are not protein forward. They are not even particularly low calorie (although if you look below at the comps to McD's it is a significant reduction in calories). My suggestion? Make them. Freeze them. Pop them out when everyone else is having a nomilicious dessert that you cannot or should not have and be happy!

I made four and they were way huge. When rolling them out I noted that it could easily make six so that is what I'm using for my per pie stats. I am going to test and see if you can get 8 out of them. CQ dough is problematic. It has to stay very, very cold to be pliable.

Stats:
Whole recipe:
685 cals
38g fat
115g carbs
69g fiber
34g protein

Per pie (for 6):
114 cals
6g fat
19g carbs
11.5g fiber (so 7.5 net carbs)
5.6g protein

McD's hot apple pie:
250 calories
13g fat
32g carbs
4g fiber (28 net carbs)
2g protein

McNik's Hot Apple Pie  

Dough: 
1.5 c Carbquik (Atkins Baking Mix works too and has way more protein!)
About 5 tbsp water
1 egg, beaten

Filling:
2 apples (granny smith or golden delicious work well), sliced very thin1 tsp cinnamon
1 tbsp Splenda
1 tbsp SF caramel syrup (Davinci/Torani)

Directions:

1. Mix CQ and water a tablespoon at a time until a dough forms. Test it by pinching it. If it holds together it is good to go. If it cracks, you need more water. Refrigerate dough for about an hour or two.

2. Spray a skillet with nonstick cooking spray. Add apples, cinnamon, splenda and syrup and cook apples until soft and splenda/syrup mixture is caramelized.

3. Flour your countertop (I used soy flour...just another way to be protein forward). Cut dough into desired amount of equal sized pieces. Refrigerate half the dough while you are working with half the dough.

4. Roll each piece of dough out with a rolling pin. Lay on a sprayed cookie sheet and fill half with apple mixture. Fold over into a pocket, pressing down around the edges. If you want, you can mark the edges with a fork for visual appeal.

5. Once all are done, brush the top of each with the beaten egg and cut a slit in the top to allow steam to escape.

6. Bake in a preheated 350 oven for 10 minutes.

VERDICT: very yummy. If you want to go that extra mile of making them taste EXACTLY like a McDs pie, I'd add some caramel syrup to the egg wash to make the outside sweeter. As it stood, I used a basic pie crust recipe which called for salt and my pie was kinda salty. But the sweetness of the apples counteracted it well enough.

Salad bliss...

Whaddya know! A two-fer!

People often ask me how much I can eat. Mostly because I always say I have the "Wonder Pouch." Not really though. I just know what healthy things I can eat a lot of and I tend to gravitate toward those foods. Because I like to eat. A lot.

So anyway, this was my lunch today. It's fast becoming a favorite lunch.

I can eat this. All of it. And I am not ashamed! As it was explained to me, the point is to be able to eat a reasonable amount of food eventually. This is a salad plate and on it is the following: iceberg lettuce, red cabbage, carrots, baby spinach, and half a diced bartlett pear tossed with light caesar dressing, fresh grated parmesan, and coarsely ground black pepper with 2.5 oz. of my pesto rubbed chicken on top (white meat). I wish I could teleport the taste to your tastebuds. So. Damn. YUMMY!!!

So anyway...this is a typical meal for me. Take from that what you will.

I'll leave off this post-fest with an announcement. Something is big is coming to the blog videos. And I mean big. Really big. Not this week coming up but hopefully the next week. That's about all I can say right now, but check back with me!

Protein Shake of the Week: Bananas Foster...

In the interest of full disclosure I have to tell you that I hated bananas pre-op. They made my tummy hurt badly. I dunno why. But post-op...once I started trusting fruit again (new post-ops...tread carefully with fruit...it has sugar too although not sucrose and bananas have a LOT of sugar) I was drawn to bananas. I think I needed the potassium. At any rate, this shake got me over. I am going to post two ways of doing it. One is for days when I know I have been/will be on the carby-er side of things and want to keep my shake low-carb and the other is for days when I have the carbs to spend.

Bananas Foster - low carb version

8 oz. skim milk
1 scoop vanilla whey (or if you have some sort of banana protein powder that works well too)
2 tbsp. SF Butter Rum syrup (in the absence of Butter Rum syrup you can do one of three things--a few drops of rum extract, or you can use SF caramel or SF hazelnut syrup)
1 tbsp sugar-free, fat-free banana pudding mix
5-8 cubes of ice

Directions: Put everything but ice in a blender and mix well. Add ice and mix again.

Carby-er version

Now don't get skeered! Carbs have their place in our eating plans! You drink this version about 30 minutes before you work out and trust me...you will be dynamo!

8 oz. skim milk
1 scoop of aforementioned whey
1 tbsp. syrup (from the above options)
1 whole banana's worth of frozen slices

Directions: put in a blender and whiz the bejeezus out of it!

If you are worried about calories in the 2nd version you can omit the milk and go for a bit of water to get your blender going. The bananas maintain the creaminess of this shake. You might want to throw some ice cubes in there for good measure though.

This shake is great as a meal replacement or as a dessert shake. But one word of advice. Don't let the "McPeople" (normal stomached) population in your life taste this. You actually want them thinking it's nasty...that way they will leave your protein swag alone. The minute they find out how yummy your shakes are, it's over for you!

You have been warned!

Eggs Rosettes

So there's a story behind this recipe (of course). I was on the treadmill reading Food Network Magazine (as I was wont to do in my earlier days) and I saw this egg dish that looked very pretty: it was eggs in a cup made of phyllo dough.

Loved the concept. Did not want the phyllo dough. So I decided to play with my food! This recipe replaces the starch with a protein source (a slice of lean deli meat). This is one of MANY neat recipe ideas featured in The Bariatric Foodie Breakfast Book!

That video was made when I was earlier out. I like to see myself back then: how I thought, how I cooked. I'm a work in progress. I hope you enjoy that glimpse of me way back when (I believe that was filmed in 2010).

Eggs Rosettes
(The recipe pictured makes 6 Egg Rosettes in a medium sized muffin tin - not a standard, but not a mini...I should get on finding the actual name for this tin!)

• 1/4 of a tomato (like the one pictured), seeded and diced
• 1/4 of a small onion, diced
• 1-inch piece of zucchini, diced
• 6 large slices of deli meat (I used low-fat turkey)
• 2 large eggs, beaten
• 1/4 tsp. baking powder
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 2 tbsp. shredded cheese

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Spray a skillet with nonstick cooking spray, set it over medium heat and allow it to get hot. Add veggies and cook 1-2 minutes.

Transfer to a bowl and add baking powder directly to the veggies and stir. (Doing it at this stage prevents the powder from clumping. Ad salt and pepper.

Spray a muffin tin with non-stick cooking spray. Arrange lunch meat in slots. (TIP: For this size I cut my lunch meat into four pieces and arranged them, overlapping. This doesn't really help with leakage of the egg - some will leak onto the tin no matter what! - but it does help with the shape.)

Using a tablespoon, fill the meat cups all the way to the top. Bake for about 15 minutes before topping each with a little sprinkle of cheese and baking an additional 5 minutes.

Below you'll find more shots of this dish. But first, I really do want you to check out The Bariatric Foodie Breakfast Book. I know breakfast can be difficult after surgery. That's why I've taken the hard part out of it. There are ideas for nearly anything you like: eggs, protein oatmeal, protein baked goodies, quickie breakfasts, make-ahead breakfasts, even breakfasts that don't feel like breakfast (just in case you aren't a breakfast food person).

So check the book out, read the reviews! If breakfast has you stumped, I have you covered! Check out the book on hardcopy and Kindle on Amazon

.

This wast the photo that first appeared with this post in 2010.

Dear Sunlight: Kindly stop changing directions right after I set up my shot!!!

I'm TRYING to embrace the eye-level shot. I really am. I'm so close...

They really do look like little flowers. That's what I like about them.

The Click Frapp

So now that you know the basics, we can explore the many and varied world of great protein shakes. What better way to start off than with a shake that most of us should not have? The Click Frapp. Ok, I'm not going to say you shouldn't have it...but Click has caffeine which is probably a big no-no for most new post-ops but here is the problem.

The stuff is addictive. Not in a "my hands shake if I don't get it" kind of way. More in a "I never want to consume anything else because this tastes so DAMN GOOD" kind of way. That's a problem. But we over at Bariatric Foodie are working on a solution so keep your hats on. We'll keep you posted.

At any rate Click does have a good deal of nutritional value. And the canister just looks damn sexy...you feel like you are a cool kid drinking some exclusive drink that the less cool kids can't have. (or is that just my high school issues?)

Some things you should know about the Click Frapp:

1. It does NOT taste exactly like a Starbucks Frappucino
2. It does taste delicious
3. It is caloric yes...this would be either a dessert shake or a meal replacement shake. Either way the stats aren't horrible...just a bit on the high side for a beverage or even a snack. I tend to do this for breakfast

Classic Click Frapp
8 oz. skim milk (I tend to use Hood Calorie Countdown Chocolate)
1 scoop Click (regular or decaf)
1 scoop of chocolate whey (pick a whey that has at least 25g of protein/100 cals per scoop)
2 tbsp Torani sugar-free chocolate syrup
6-8 ice cubes
2 tbsp either sugar-free or fat-free whipped cream (I use the fat free)

Directions: Combine everything but the ice and whippage and whiz in the blender. Add ice and whiz again. Pour into a pretty glass (or mason jar, or pickle jar...) and ENJOY!

Note that mixing different proteins together is a good way to stack up your numbers. It is not uncommon for me to make a morning protein shake that has every gram of protein I need for a whole day in it. Especially if there are a lot of unknown variables in my day (staff lunch, going out to dinner, etc.).

Here the stats that I get from the Click Frapp. Run your own to accommodate your personal ingredients. 280 calories, 6g fat, 23g carbs, 45g protein


Again...newbies...sorry but you're not going to be able to finish this. My suggestion? Aside from sharing the love...you could cut down to 1 scoop Click + 1/2 scoop whey + 4 oz. milk + a couple of ice cubes.

OR you could do like Starbucks does and save the mix. Get your handy-dandy shaker bottle. Once you've whizzed it the first time, pour half of it into your shaker bottle and refrigerate immediately. Use the other half to make your current Frapp.

When you are ready for another Frapp (preferrably not on the same day...we are trying to change our lifestyles!!!), give your shaker bottle a shake, dump it in the blender, add more ice and you have a second Frapp.

See? Simple.

Wait...the picture! I have to take a picture of this one. In the pickle jar :) For now...trust that it is good...

There's NO excuse for drinking a nasty protein shake

Like for real. There isn't. So if you are...STOP IT!!!

Now this video took forever and three days to save to my computer (and another seven to save to this blog--even after compressing!) so you have to be kind and watch it. :) After all the hoopla I realized I cut out the last scene in the damn thing. We are a work in progress!




Here is the recipe for the shake I made:
Protein Mudslide

8 oz. skim milk, 1 scoop Chocolate whey, 5-ish pumps sugar-free Kahlua syrup (2 tbsp), 5-8 cubes of ice.

Directions: Put in blender. Whiz. Pour in glass. Slurp. That is all.
No wait...it's not:
Edited to add:

A few things that I forgot in the heat of my annoyance at my computer!

Ok, a few folks have asked me about what blender I use or recommend. I personally own a Hamilton Beach blender which was of the $19.99 variety that works very well. My mother, on the other hand, owns one that is a bit more expensive but it crushes stuff WITHOUT you having to keep your hand on the button (which is a big plus cuz…you know…you got stuff to do…)

I’ve also been asked about what syrups would be good starters. Personally, I think the basics are: vanilla, chocolate, hazelnut, caramel, and raspberry. Some of my favorite specialty flavors are: Kahlua, Peanut Butter, Coconut, and German Chocolate Cake (which I only tasted once but boy was it yummy!).

Lastly, I just wanted to give a quick shout out to Click! For those of you who don’t know what Click is or what to do with it, stay tuned as this is the next frontier in our shake exploration. To be fair, Click has caffeine in it, though, so I’m also going to post a good alternative for newbies for whom caffeine is generally one of the bigger no-no’s. But in very exciting news…Click is now being sold through Amazon! They are currently out of stock, but you can still lock in your canisters at the sale price of $20.88 (a $3-5 savings depending on where you usually get it) and they will ship when they have it available. And they are offering free two-day shipping on Click purchases which saves you even more!

That really is all for today. I been busy trying to get next week’s video recipe in the right place. Once it is done, you are going to love it!

PEACE!
Next week we start to tackle real food. That is...if I don't shoot the computer first.

Until next time Bariatric Americans!

And now a programming note...

I am so goofy.

I’m going to ATTEMPT to bring some organization to this blog by following a kind of schedule so I thought I’d let you all know about it. There’s some exciting stuff “cooking” over here at Bariatric Foodie!

During the week (I am hesitant to commit to an actual day of the week, so let’s just say anytime between Monday – Friday), I will be featuring protein shake recipes from my comprehensive protein shake list. These recipes will have pics (which I have been assured are very important although I don’t see what is so exciting about a picture of a protein shake…they kind of all look alike). These posts will feature new flavors courtesy of my friend Martie who just gave me a truckload of new sugar-free syrups to play with! (Thank you Martie! The WLS community thanks you as well, don’t you guys?).

At least once a week (but not limited to Monday – Friday) I am going to post a regular meal recipe. Just in case you ever wondered how my mind works (and I know you have not…because you all have lives), I often dream up recipes on the elliptical machine (whatever gets you through, right?), but before I ever share them with you I’ve made them several times—first, to make sure it tastes ok, next to make sure I am using the most nutritionally and calorically beneficial ingredients that I know of, and third…’cuz I like my food to look pretty. So that process takes a minute and in the midst of that process I’ve not been blogging much. So I have a backlog. Which is good for you. Much work for me. But work I love doing and will continue to do until such time as you all tell me to stop! So, that leads me to my next piece of exciting news…

The new recipe posted will be in video! That’s right…I’m starting my own blogovision show. I don’t know what it should be called yet. I am appealing to you all for help. If you have a great idea for a name, post it in the comments. An independent panel of judges (not really…just my mom, my brother, and the divas) will pick a winner. There is something in this for you too. The winner will receive a goodie bag of a few of my favorite products to sample. So get to thinking!

Anyhoo…I am thinking most webisodes will go up on the weekends (which is realistically when I have time to edit and post them). I am shooting for shorter segments (and better edited) than the first one although you guys seemed to appreciate the Carbquik tutorial and I am so glad it helped!

Anyway, just a few notes from this side. If you like what you’re seeing, post a comment! I sound like a broken record, I know, but it really is the only way I know what you think of posts and I really do try to post things that you’ll like and find helpful.

So that’s it from over this way. Over and out!

Carbquik Pancakes

So I have been trying for the better part of the day to get this damn video up on the blog.

Is it there??? Is it really there???

Ok, so the Carbquik pancake...folks have been having trouble with the recipe. And that bothers me. For several reasons: firstly because as a person who dreams up recipes you never want your recipe to "not work." Secondly, because I'm over here eating good ass pancakes every week and I feel bad that others are not having the same experience, third...well just cuz, ok???

So here is me...looking to' up from the flo' up. Filming a cooking segment is hard. My eternal thanks go to my camera guy (gal) for her patience and perseverence. I plan to do other segments once I get my act together and learn how to better edit the damn things. This one is ridiculously long (and grainy) but hang in there. If you want to know how to make low carb pancakes, it's worth the time investment.

I'd like to point out a few things about this video:
#1 - I usually look WAY cuter
#2 - Normally I don't allow my child to go around looking like old boxing promoters
#3 - the pancakes are good!!! So make them right and eat them!!!!

Don't eat this...

Well...I won't say don't eat it. Cuz in reality chicken nuggets aren't the most objectionable choice you could make. Maybe not the best, but certainly not the worst. And these guys give you the added benefit of reminding you how many of them you ate. Bought them for the girls and just had to share!

N

Now try and tell me that isn't cute. Go ahead! The divas ate 6 of them (they only number up to 3 thankfully) with a big green salad tossed with lite Caesar dressing and fake bacon bits. I admit I had a bite. Juicy on the inside, crunchy on the outside...just like a good nugget should be. One of these babies...a little Frank's Red Hot...mmmmmm...
OK, enough of that!

Funnel cake

So most of you already know this, but for those that don't...funnel cake is basically a glorified pancake. Sorry to ruin any romantic conceptions you had about this summertime carnival treat, but that's basically what it is. The good news? This works to our advantage in creating a WLS friendly version.

3 fundamental problems with traditional funnel cake that make it either uneatable/not worth it to us pouch peeps:

1. It is deep fried - dumping is always a consideration as well as the fact that over consumption of the WRONG types of fats is what got us on the table in the first place
2. Ze carbs! Ze carbs! Need I say more?
3. The 47 lbs. of powdered sugar that comes on it.

Ok, so the things that make a funnel cake...a funnel cake:

1. Shape - it is squiggly and disorganized. You feel like a rebel eating it because it just seems so random and wayward
2. Texture: it is crisy. Mainly from the vat of reused oil it was fried in.
3. Taste- not so much of the funnel cake, although a good base is important. Mostly it's all about the toppings. Namely powdered sugar. I am dumping just thinking about all that sugar. I bought my daughters a funnel cake at a carnival last week and had to stop the lady from pouring on the sugar. But I digress...

So how do we get around it. We need a plan of attack!

Well first off we can't deep fry it. I can't, in good conscience, promote deep frying although it is wonderful and magical and yummy. So we will be pan frying this sucker.

So what about the carbs? Well you all know the answer to that one...Carbquik! This stuff is wonderful for those situations where you just can't get around having a starch.

So here's how it's gonna go down:

1/4 c. Carbquik

1/2 tbsp of some type of oil (I would suggest Canola)

1 egg

1 heaping tbsp Splenda

1 tbsp SF vanilla syrup (I used Torani)

1/8 tsp baking powder

Get a bowl, get a cup. In the bowl combine the CQ and baking powder. Might wanna throw in a dash of salt for good measure. I'm just sayin'. Ok, in the cup, combine the egg, oil, Splenda, and syrup and mix very, very well. Pour wet ingredients into dry and mix thoroughly. CQ will retain some chunkiness from whatever that stuff is that makes it so high in fiber. I don't ask questions. I just eat it. Moving on...

So, next we tackle the shape. We need 2 things to achieve a funnel-cake like shape: heat and control of the batter. So spray a pan with non-stick and put it on high heat until it is hot and then drop it back down to medium flame. While it's heating up get a Ziploc baggie. Put your batter in there. It should be a bit thick. Once you've got it into the bag, cut off one corner with some scissors. Now pipe the batter into your pan in a random fashion. This is also where the pancake thing works to our advantage. You have a minute to take your time with the shaping of the batter so go crazy with it. Have fun. I'll wait.

Mmmkay...so after you have done that...let it sit there for a bit. It will puff up, the edges will pull away from the pan. In fact, it'll look something like this:

Yeah, like that. When it looks like that you should consider flipping it. Now most chefs will tell you to be patient because you only want to flip once. I would tell you the same thing. Make good and sure it is done on the other side before you flip it. Then CAREFULLY flip it. Use a big, wide spatula. Again, I'll wait...

Got it? Ok. So let it chill there for a few moments while we consider toppings. So do you like the powdered sugar? You do? Well do you do well with Splenda? Yes? Ok, so do this:

1 tbsp Splenda

1/2 tbsp cornstarch

Mix well. There you go. Sugar free powdered sugar.

So once your funnel cake is done it should look like this:

Top with powdered sugar and serve. Now my suggestion is to do a fruity topping instead. The powdered sugar was good BUT since we pan fried instead of deep frying, it doesn't have all the moisture that a regular funnel cake would have. Taste? Yes. Shape? Yes. Moisture? Not as much. It's not dry per se, just drier than a normal funnel cake.

Fruity topping can be achieved quite easily by nuking some SF jelly. Easy, right?

Ok, so there is only one problem with this funnel cake from my perspective. You can't eat it at a carnival! But you can eat it at the barbecue when everyone else is eating a bunch of crap you shouldn't or can't have. And don't you dare give them a single bite!

Now if you'll excuse me...I'm off to formulate my very strong case to Carquik about how I should get some kick back from all this pimpage!

Fun with Tuna

Ok, so shoot me, I don't have a picture to show you. This is mainly because my digital camera is sitting in my electronics basket...uncharged....where it has been for the last month. One day I will get around to doing the incredibly simple task of plugging in the battery charger but today it was just too much, OK???? As a consolation prize you get Charlie, the Starkist tuna. Riveting.

Moving on...

I think I am addicted to tuna cakes. Tuna cakes? you ask yourself. Yes, tuna cakes. I love crab cakes. Adore salmon cakes. Am addicted to tuna cakes. Why? Well, first off they take about 4 minutes to prep and make from start to finish. Secondly, there are not bones or shells to contend with. Third, you can get away with a lot of different flavor combinations. The one I'd like to present for consideration today is a Jerk Tuna Cake w/ Peach Ginger Sauce.

Ingredients:

1 can of tuna (doesn't have to be Starkist...sorry Charlie...but it does need to be packed in water)

1/8 c. textured vegetable protein (go ahead...ask...what's that? Click here before moving on...)

1 tablespoon light mayo (yes, I know mayo is s'posed to be the debbil but it really does have some functions and this is one of them...don't use Greek yogurt...use mayo!)

1 shake each of the following: salt, ground black pepper, onion powder, red pepper flakes

1 large egg white

1/2 tsp prepared jerk seasoning (pssst...it's in the international aisle)

1 tbsp whole wheat bread crumbs (NOT ground Fiber One...yeesh...you people are health FANATICS!)

for the peach ginger sauce

1 tbsp sugar free peach preserves (I use Smucker's)

a dash of Splenda

a dash of cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground ginger

1 dollop sugar free breakfast syrup (I use Smucker's)

Directions:

1. Drain tuna but reserve the water you drained. Set tuna aside.

2. Mix 1/8 c. reserved tuna liquid with your TVP and mix well. Set aside.

3. Dump tuna into the same bowl as the TVP and mix well

4. In the tuna can, mix together mayo, spices, and jerk seasoning (cuts down on dishes...don'tcha just love me????)

5. Add egg white to tuna/tvp mixture and mix well. Then add mayo mixture.

6. Add bread crumbs and mix well.

7. Spray a skillet with nonspray and let it get hot. While it is getting hot form patties out of your tuna mixture (how many depends on your appetite...for some this makes 4, for some 3, for me...2). Pan fry for about 3 minutes on each side. Cool on a rack if you're going to pack it for lunch. Serve hot off the skillet if you are eating it then and there.

8. Wait! No! Don't eat it yet! The peach ginger sauce! So easy: nuke the peach preserves for about 15-20 seconds. Until it's all bubbly and gooey. Add remaining ingredients and stir, stir, stir! Dump it over your tuna cakes. There...now you can eat (really...you can eat it...SERIOUSLY)

This is so good. Just the right level of spicy and sweet. The peach-ginger sauce seems like it would be good over a corn cake but I don't roll with corn cakes anymore so I may never know. If any of you dear readers are less neurotic than I, please try it and let me know how it tastes, k?

In summary...YUM! Oh one other thing...if you're liking what I'm posting...if you try any of the recipes. If you have a thought about how blue the sky is...post comments! I need comments! I love comments! Comments are awesome!

That is all.

Champagne wishes and curry dreams...

I don't know why I originally named this post what I did. I do have champagne wishes though in that I wish I had the amount of money a good champagne cost. Cuz a sista is BROKE! Which means we use what we have in our fridge. Tonight the fridge gods were good to me and gave me the ingredients for this: curried chicken and "rice."

For most post-op RNY'ers rice is a precarious thing. It weighs heavily on the pouch and is hard to eat a lot of. But there are things...many things...that go on rice that are not quite right by themselves. It's a dilemma. Well there are several things that can replace rice. TVP for example. But I don't like that as a rice replacement. It's heavy and despite the fact that it is mild, it does have its own flavor going on. My replacement of choice? Good ol' fashioned cauliflower. Yes, the cruciferous veggie is damn near tasteless and mashes up to look kinda sorta like rice for the first four seconds you look at it.

So the recipe I am posting below is the "Rachel Ray" version of this dish (meaning it takes about 30 minutes to make...not that Rachel had anything to do with it). It's good when you want something exotic and comforting but don't want to be in the kitchen all day. This would pair well with my Thai Iced Tea recipe but that would necessitate eating/drinking at the same time which is an express ticket to RNY damnation, right?!?!?!? Ah well...drink your thai iced tea, 30 minutes after eating this dish. There...

Curried chicken and "rice"

Ingredients:

• 1 small onion, thinly sliced
• 1 lb. whatever chicken parts you deem worthy (the above were boneless, skinless thighs, fat trimmed)
• Either 12 oz. mixed veggies from the can OR 2 c. uncooked 'random veggies' (read: whatever is in your fridge), chopped
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/2 c. water
• 1 tbsp curry powder, salt and pepper to taste
• Optional: a dash of cayenne pepper, about 1/2 tsp. garam masala (an Indian spice blend...gives it a nice touch, but totally not necessary)
• 2 tbsp cornstarch or flour + same amount of COLD water (for thickening)
• 1 batch of cauliflower rice

Directions:

1. Spray a skillet down with nonstick cooking spray and set it over medium heat and let it get good and HOT. Add onions and drop the heat down to medium-low and allow them to caramelize (become golden brown in color)
2. Add chicken and cook until browned on both sides.
3. Add veggies, garlic, spices and water and cover. Cook about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.
4. When chicken is done through and fork tender, use two forks to shred all the chicken meat up and stir to make sure veggies are fully incorporated. Taste the broth and adjust seasonings as desired (sometimes I have to add more curry or salt).
5. In a cup, combine starch or flour with water and stir with a fork or a mini-whisk to form a smooth paste. Make sure that water is cold! Put an ice cube in it if your kitchen is particularly warm.
6. Increase the heat of the chicken mixture until its liquids are boiling. Add starchy mixture and stir through. Sauce should begin to immediately thicken.
7. Allow it to simmer an additional five minutes or so then serve atop hot cauliflower rice.

This is one of my all-time favorite post-op meals! I know what some of you will ask. About the flour (or the "rue" used to thicken the sauce). The previous iteration of this recipe called for a can of coconut milk but any way you slice it that adds a bunch of calories and fat (which you are welcome to do if you love coconut curries).

This version requires 2 tablespoons of starch in a fairly big batch of food so if you divide it out the carbs aren't terrible. But you are welcome to skip that step. You'll just have a thin broth instead of a sauce to serve atop your cauliflower rice.

But any way you make it, it's still good!

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