Faux-tato salad lives on!

A little Faux-tato salad...a little chicken...who needs those starchy carbs???

You wanna know how I come by about 89% of the Foodie-submitted posts on this blog?

I am watching you.

Yes, I am. And when one of you says, "Hey, Nik, I tried ______ and I really liked it!" I POUNCE! Because I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY do mean it when I say I love to see what you guys are doing in your kitchens! So I email you. Or message you. Or stalk you online (I only had to do that three times though) until you send me that recipe (with pics, please!).

Folks...don't make me work so hard. You know when you have a moment of Foodie genius. And most of you have smart phones, or at least phones capable of snapping and emailing a picture.

So when you have these moments of glory in the kitchen, when the entire fam is raving about what YOU just made for dinner and you're feeling pretty damn good because two months ago you didn't even know it was possible to eat healthfully and deliciously and you're beginning to think this whole WLS thing just might work out after all...hit a sista up with a recipe and a pic! There are other Foodies sitting where you were two months ago who will be eternally grateful. I'm just sayin.

(/end PSA)

So this recipe is a remix of a BF recipe. You might remember last week I mentioned faux-tato salad. I love the stuff! Me and potatoes? Enhh. I can eat them. But I'm not that passionate about them. But I do love potato salad. It's the quintessential summer food. So when former BF co-author Jen taught me to make faux-tato salad I was all in!

Apparently so was Dana. But like any good Foodie, he decided to play with his food to make it his fauxtato salad. Here's what he did:

(Nik Note: My profuse apologies for calling you a she, Dana. I was in auto-mode typing this post and I think my fingers took over my brain! Thank you for calling me out!)

Dana's Red Hot Faux-tato Salad

Ingredients:

1 large head fresh cauliflower

4 large eggs, hard boiled & diced up (I mash mine up with a potato masher)
1 medium sweet onion, chopped fine
1 c. Greek Yogurt
1/2 c. Kraft Low-Fat Horseradish-Dijon Reduced Fat Sandwich Shop Mayo
1/4 c. Horseradish Mustard from Aldi (Burman's??)
1/4 c. chopped dill pickles
1/2 bunch fresh Italian Parsley, minced
1/2 bunch fresh Dill, minced
Salt, Pepper and Garlic Powder (to taste)
1/4 c. (or more to taste) Frank's Red Hot sauce
2 tsp Paprika (plus a few splicks for garnish) Nik Note: Dana I love you for validating "splick" as a measurement. MWAH

From there you're going to use the same directions as Jen's Faux-tato salad, which are as follows.

Directions:

1. Fill a pot 1/2 full with cold water and a pinch of salt.
2. Remove the cauliflower florets from the stalk and put them into the pot of water. Bring it up to a rolling boil, then let it simmer for about 5 minutes or so until the cauliflower is fork tender. (If you have a rice cooker with a steamer insert, you can cook the cauliflower in the steamer. You could also put the florets in a microwave safe bowl with a little water in the bottom and cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Poke a few holes in the plastic to vent it, then microwave for 4 or 5 minutes until the cauliflower is steamed.) OR you can buy 3 bags of that Birdseye Steam Fresh Cauliflower, nuke it, and skip all that stuff I said in the previous paragraph. Once the cauliflower is done, mash it up with a potato masher (or pulse it in the food processor) until it is the consistency of lumpy mashed potatoes. 
3. In a separate bowl, whisk together the Greek yogurt, mayonnaise, and mustard until thoroughly combined. Add a pinch of salt, half a pinch of pepper, and a sprinkle of garlic powder. Now add the minced Parsley and Dill, pickle relish, and chopped onion, and whisk thoroughly.
4. Add the chopped eggs to the cauliflower, then combine the Greek yogurt mixture with the eggs and cauliflower. Fold it together with a rubber spatula until it is well mixed. NOW TASTE IT and adjust your seasonings. The mustard usually hides the "twang" of the Greek yogurt, but you may need more salt and pepper.

Nik's "Kickarse" Veggie Chili

Before we start, have you entered yet to win yourself a FREE canister of Click Decaf? Yes? Ok, good. Let us proceed!

Look closely at that bowl of chili above. REALLY stare at it.

It doesn't look that out of the ordinary does it? Sure, it has a few more veggies than regular chili but besides that, pretty standard fare, right?

Well what if I told you this bowl of chili has absolutely NO meat products in it. And what if, after that, I told you that even without meat products this bowl of chili has just about as much protein as a bowl of meat chili? Would you believe me???

(I would hope so. Have I ever lied to you?)

This chili recipe came about by accident. Long story short: I've just moved. Haven't bought new microwave. Forgot to thaw meat. Needed dinner. See? I can practice brevity!

The REAL story here is that I sort of...er...neglected to tell La Grande Diva (i.e. the "meat and potatoes" kid) that this had no meat and...she could not tell! Success!

For real, though, if you have trouble with meat, give this recipe a try. You'll be glad you did.

Nik's "Kick Arse" Veggie Chili

Ingredients:

2 c. TVP (if you're going "what is TVP?", click here)
4 c. water, halved
Onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste
1 medium onion, diced
1/2 an eggplant, skinned (if desired, I did not) and diced
1 zucchini, diced
1 yellow squash, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
1 can diced tomatoes, drained of canning liquids
1 can black beans, drained of canning liquids
1 can light red kidneys, drained of canning liquids
1 can dark red kidneys, drained of canning liquids
3 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder (yes, I said cocoa powder)
If you, like me, like it spicy: 1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, combine 2 cups of water with as much onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper as you would usually use to season ground meat. Then add your TVP and let it sit for about 20 minutes to completely rehydrate.
2. Meanwhile, you're chopping your veggies (Unless you, like me, actually prep up veggies on a weekly basis. But not many of you are that neurotic, are you?). 
3. Spray down a pot well with nonstick cooking spray and let it heat up. Add the onions, squash, eggplant and any other diced veggies you deem worthy! Sautee until softened then add the garlic.
4. Stir in your beans, your tomatoes and, lastly, your rehydrated TVP and stir very, very well.
5. Add in your spices and the remaining water as it takes to achieve a slightly soupy texture.
6. Bring the whole thing to a boil and then drop it down to a simmer for about 20 minutes or so.

This, like many other recipes, tastes SO much better the next day. I am not even kidding.

And although I usually do NOT do this, I am posting stats on this (which you can also view here as a complete nutrition label...although disregard the sodium numbers as there was no way to track beans and tomatoes that have been washed of all the sodium in the canning liquids!) so you can see for yourself that yes, this does actually pack quite a protein punch. For MY version, using MY ingredients, an 8 oz. serving (which is what I can eat) comes out to: 

247 calories

1.5g fat

35g carbs

13g fiber (so 22g carbs)

22.5g protein

And most importantly, it is yummy! I mean look at it...

Mmmmmm! Couldn't that just be YOUR dinner tonight?