Kumquat karma...

I have always considered myself a fairly…eclectic eater, even pre-op. I ate foods from many different regions. I loved my naan and my Injera bread, my hummus and babaganoush, my quinoa and my risotto, my falafel and my sushi (notice these are all carbs…). But post-op I’s interesting how many foods I’ve tried that I have never, ever had before. And when I talk about them, folks who have eaten them get tickled. It’s like a journey of new discovery!

Well today I had that experience. I ate…a kumquat.

First I have to acknowledge my inner 12 year-old who giggles every time I say…kumquat. Because it doesn’t sound like a tasty fruit. It sounds like something inappropriate that you do in your nether regions. Yes, that was juvenile. But I had to get it out before going any further so as not to mess up what could be a very informational post.

So here’s what it looks like:

My friend Liz gives me one at the office today. And it looks like a large grape with an orange peel on it.

“Do I peel it?” I ask.

“Nope…just pop it in your mouth whole.”

“REALLY?” says I, incredulous.

I wasn’t sure. I have trust issues with non-ops giving me things and especially with regards to fruit. Some fruit I am fine with. Some of it jacks me up. I decided what the heck though. When was the next time I’d have the opportunity to eat something called a kumquat? (snicker…snicker…)

So I pop it in my mouth whole and chew. I was expecting the skin to be tough but it gave way pretty easily to a slightly sweet, slightly bitter taste. It was sort of like if an orange and a grapefruit got together and had an inordinately small baby. I liked it. I think. I liked it enough to go get another one to see if I really liked it. And I ate that one too. This time, though, I paid more attention to the entire sensory experience. It smells sort of like a mango to me. And I bit it the second time instead of popping it. It has these little teeny weeny sections like an orange (sorta) and when you bite it as opposed to popping it the skin has a sweetness to it.

On the second round it was rather candy-like. So now I gotta go find kumquats. I am told I can go to Trader Joe’s. I wonder if they have them at Whole Foods? I want the divas to try them. They are such funny food critics. Perhaps I’ll get some, have them try, and do a video on it. Stay tuned!

C is for Cookie!

So anyone who knows me knows that in the beginning (of my surgical process) I was a certified, card carrying CARBOPHOBE. Yep…I would not go near starches…was offended at the thought of bread or crackers and cookies??? Are you nuts???

Well today I do a fair amount of starchy stuff. Most of it is Frankenfood specially formulated to fill my body without actually penetrating it. High fiber, low carb, yadda, yadda… I generally tend to stay away from commercial sweets, mostly because I dump but also because I am a notorious label reader and I’ve yet to find a snacky dessert type thing where the numbers won’t ruin an otherwise honest day of RNY eating.

Enter my friend Carrie. She sends me boxes of stuff from time to time, bless her heart (I hope she doesn’t mind me mentioning that…). And usually I LOVE what she sends me. The box that arrived at my office late last week was no exception. It contained some granola, some cereal, some diabetic brown sugar and…some protein cookies.

Protein cookies. In my head this seems like an oxymoron because cookies, at the base, are doctored up flour concoctions right? With the addition of a little fat and some sweetener, right? So in theory any cookie that attempted to reverse that balance, and have more protein than carbs, should taste like cardboard right?

WRONG!

Chef Jay’s Tri-O-Plex Light Bites cookies. Oh. My. MARTHA!!! The things are good! First off they look like a real cookie. They are soft, not hard and of course they are round but they also have that “I just opened a package of cookies” smell (note to my non-op readers…when you eat an abundance of diet food things like a products proximity to the actual food that God sent down to the earth from heaven [and stuff] become monumentally important…which is why I mention this). Then you bite into the thing and it’s chewy. Mmmmmm…I love a chewy cookie.

Carrie sent me oatmeal raisin and peanut butter chocolate chip (cuz she wanna be startin’ somethin’…gotta be startin’ somethin’…). Both tasted amazing. You do get the sugar substitute taste from them a little bit, which surprised me since I have not (knowingly) consumed sucrose in so long that I figured I wouldn’t pick up on that. It was mostly in the oatmeal raisin one. With the peanut butter one…well peanut butter trumps all other flavors so you really don’t get that experience too much.

Anyhoo…let’s talk about usage. Because if any of you are like me, things like this can be DANGEROUS. Because we tell ourselves “it’s protein…and I need protein…” Yes you do, boo-boo, but you don’t need cookies all the time. This is why I usually assign these types of food a very specific place in my life. For this I’d say one of two situations:

# 1 – Dessert. It’s a worthy dessert but please note that dessert? Is a one-time deal. There is no “breakfast w/ dessert,” “lunch w/ dessert” and “dinner with dessert” (at least not in my world)

#2 – Any kind of function where there will be dessert that you can’t/should not have. Please remember my “Theory of Food Choice Equity” – in order to resist temptation, every bad food choice MUST have an equally yummy good food choice.

So to wrap up this “entirely too long” post…if you like cookies, miss cookies, want to eat cookies…give these babies a try. I don’t think you’ll be sorry you did.

H-two-ohhhhhh...

Warm weather is a’coming and so now seems like a good time to talk about hydration. You getting yours? Some folks find it easier to get their 64 oz. a day in the warmer months. Others struggle all year long.

We here at BF would like to point out a few things:

• 64 oz. is a minimum. You can actually drink MORE water if you want to.
• You SHOULD drink more water if your diet is “above and beyond” in the protein arena. If half your daily calories come from protein, you should be drinking lots and lots of water. Your kidneys will thank you!
• According to our nutritionist: anything non-carbonated and non-caffeinated counts toward your liquid total
• Also per nutritionist: water in foods, though hard to measure, also counts. So if you’re getting a lot of water and a lot of protein, those water-filled veggies are just helping the whole love train along!

So having said all that…in my house I cut out all soda after RNY. I could have said “well the kids like it…” but the truth his that sodas (especially regular ones) are empty calories. They don’t give you anything back. My eldest daughter’s favorite, Mountain Dew, gave hear nearly 46g of sugar per serving – and there were 2.5 servings in a bottle! Yowsa!

Needless to say this presented a challenge. I mean my kids like plain water but not at every sitting. They are also growing away from the “milk…it’s what you drink!” phase of their existences. Recently they have started something, though, that I am liking…especially in the warm weather. Drink mixing!

That’s right…drink mixing. It’s simple really. They take two different kinds of Crystal Light and combine them in a pitcher. Simple. But soooo many possibilities. Here are a few that we really like (all from Wal-Mart’s “Great Value” line):

• Strawberry + Orange Early Sunrise – served with frozen, fresh-cut pineapple chunks instead of ice cubes
• Strawberry, Orange, Banana – we used to mix this then GV came out with their own blend.
• Iced Tea w/ Peach + Strawberry – which tastes good but my oldest says it looks like “pee in a cup…”
• Grape + Fruit Punch – with frozen grapes instead of ice cubes
• Lemonade + Orange Early Sunrise (or cherry, or strawberry)

See where I’m going with this? Now if you really do miss the soda vibe…and if you are a ways out (I’m talking 9 mos. + probably) you might invest in a small bottle of soda water. Just a little tip of the stuff in your Crystal Light can make it into a very refreshing spritzer.

So go on…git yo’ drank on!

Protein Chocolate Muffins

Raise your hand if you ever crave chocolate. Anybody? Anybody at all? (chirp...chirp...)

KIDDING! Any chocolate lover occasionally gets a craving for something chocolatey and when you do, really, what do you reach for? A candy bar? A fudgesicle? Me...I'm not a cold treat kinda gal most of the time and I dump so if I even THINK about candy bars it causes a reaction. So I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I have Nessa and Pam to thank for this little creation of mine. Nessa because she tried my protein brownie recipe and did NOT like the texture. I can respect that. The dang things weigh...nothing. And that can be a bit alarming. She started to put just a bit of flour in them and said the recipe improved ten-fold. I have Pam to thank cuz...well...we should all just make a routine of thanking Pam even if she hasn't done anything for us that day...without her I would be scared, lost, confused little soul. But specific to this situation she kept telling me about her banana nut protein muffins and those accounts wormed their way into my brain until I finally got a hankering to make me some muffins! 'Cept I didn't want banana. I wanted chocolate. Like those big ass chocolte muffins you get at Starbucks. 'Cept less calories and fat. So here's what I came up with:

Nik's Chocolate Explosion muffins

Dry Ingredients:

1/2 c. Carbalose flour

3 scoops chocolate whey protein

1/8 tsp. salt

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 c. Splenda granular
1/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder

Wet Ingredients:

1/2 c. Egg Beaters original
1 small apple, peeled, cored, and finely chopped
1 c. Hood Calorie Countdown Choclate milk

Directions:

1. Mix together dry ingredients in a bowl. Set aside
2. Mix together wet ingredients.
3. Tip wet into dry and mix, mix, mix. Batter will be dense and REALLY sweet (don't worry...the sweetness works itself out in the oven.
4. Pour into sprayed muffin tin, filling each cup 3/4 full
5. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes

These things are easy to pop out of the muffin tin too which was a big plus for me. With the ingredients I used each muffin was about 70 calories and 9 grams of protein. I ate two for breakfast and am good to go.

Now I know this isn't the best picture...I am not that great a photographer, but I haven't given you all FP in a while so I figured I'd at least try. Better pic next time, I promise!

Butterfinger Protein Shake

In the beginning there was the protein shake. And it was milk and it was whey and it was NOT GOOD! Then the protein gods said “let there be flavor” and there was flavor…and it was good!

By and large WLS has vastly reduced my sweet tooth. Lemme tell you…I useta could put away a whole pack of Oreos by myself. Yep. Big glass of milk and my trusty TV (set to “the Biggest Loser” natch) and it was gloppy cookie perfection. After surgery the requisite changes in hormones made me more a salty/savory girl and then the fact that I dump sealed the deal. Thus the tortilla chip won over the Oreo.

But every now and again I miss candy bars. Wonderful, chewy, crunchy, chocolatey, peanut butter, toffee, nougat goodness (quit drooling on me…). Sadly I cannot have a candy bar (except for dark chocolate…the pouch seems ok with approximately three squares at a time of it). Once I tried a bite of a Twix (I only wanted one bite…) and the pouch put me on notice REAL quick.

So I have no choice but to satisfy my cravings with protein shakes. Sigh…such is life for me. But it’s not all bad. In fact, to me it’s better. Take a Butterfinger for example. It’s a bar. It’s small. It’s got a gabillion calories…and it’s over pretty quickly. My Butterfinger shake, however, is ginormous and thick and wonderful and takes me a while to eat. It’s like having four Butterfingers instead of just one.

Nik’s Butterfinger protein shake

8 oz. skim milk (I like Hood Calorie Countdown…saves you 35 calories and 9g of carbs)
1 scoop chocolate whey
1 tablespoon sugar-free, fat-free butterscotch pudding mix
2 pumps sugar-free peanut butter flavored syrup
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder (optional but it does help)
1 tsp good decaf instant coffee (you don’t taste the coffee…it just makes the chocolate taste more chocolatey)
If you are like me and like it a little on the crackhead side: 2 packets of Splenda

Directions: y’all know the drill right? Put it in a blender. Whiz it. If you like it like a triple-thick milk shake, add enough ice to break the surface of the liquid and whiz again. Pour in glass, top with whippage and enjoy.
Nobody better lay a finger on MY Butterfinger!!!!

Meatless Fridays: Vegetarian Breakfast Tostada

Ah...Lent...it brings out the vegetarian in me for sure! I notice, though, that lately I've not eaten a lot of meat on any day of the week. Dairy? Yes. Meat? Not so much. That could have something to do with the fact that I have an extremely high maintenance pouch. Meat has to be cooked just right or it gets rejected y'all. The other day my mom made the most indulgent looking meatloaf. Three bites in I could tell it wasn't going to work. Ah well...I guess I was made for meatless Fridays.

I made an awesome discovery at Aldi's the other day. Fit and Active Multi-Grain wraps. These things are yummy, have good stats and they beat the cost of Flat-Out wraps hands down! Good news for this bitch on a budget! (I have been trying to work that term into a sentence FOREVER! Yay!)

So this breakfast tostada is quite wonderful. I will be eating it on meatless Friday atop a Fit and Active wrap. Not sure how much of it I will be able to eat although the wonders of the wonder pouch never cease.

Nik's Vegetarian Breakfast Tostada

1 low-carb tortilla (I like La Tortilla Factory's the best for stats - 50 calories and 3 net grams of carbs! You can't beat that! Be sure to get the taco sized thought)

1/4 c. fat-free refried beans

1/4 c. textured vegetable protein  (if you are saying to yourself, "what's that?" click here), reconstituted in water mixed with 1 tbsp taco spice

1/4 c. low-fat shredded Mexican blend cheese

2 tablespoons unflavored Greek style yogurt

2 tablespoons medium salsa

Directions:

Lay your tortilla out on a sprayed cookie sheet. Spread on an even layer of beans, then add the TVP, then add the cheese. Bake in a 350 oven for 10 minutes or until the tortilla is browned at the edges and the cheese is all melty. Top with yogurt and salsa.

This get the Nik "hell yeah" seal of approval. Two yums from the divas and an emphatic "woof" from the puppy. So I am confident in telling you it is good!

Enjoy!

Nutella Protein Shake

I have a good friend from OH who is always sending me stuff. In the two years I’ve been an active member she’s sent me Christmas goodies and when I met her in person she came loaded down with stuff for me. I love presents, but especially those types of presents because they give me a glimpse into who a person is and what they like.


Anywho…

Included in one such package were a few sample sized containers of Nutella. Now I’d heard of the stuff but never tried it pre-op (I know…what a shame…), so the first thing I did…being a good lil’ RNY patient…is look up the stats! And I found out that I probably should not consume even the sample size lest I end up in Dump City (and I would have…trust me…) but I did manage a small taste (think pinkie dip) and it was DREAMY! My first thought was…I gotta figure out how to make a protein shake of this flavor.

I tried a few times and…enhhh…they were ok. There was something missing. Then the very, very, very, VERY last person you would expect to give advice that helps in weight loss provided the missing link. It was the Barefoot Contessa…Ms. Ina Garten, whose rich recipes are the main source of my food pornography viewing.
So employing her tips and tricks, I present to you…a shake I can confidently call…

Nik’s Nutella Protein Shake
8 oz. skim milk (I like Hood Calorie Countdown…45 calories/3g carbs/8g protein per cup!)
1 scoop chocolate whey
1 tbsp dry sugar-free, fat free chocolate pudding mix
1 tsp good instant decaf coffee (Taster’s Choice, Via…NOT the dollar store variety)
4-5 pumps sugar-free hazelnut syrup

Put it all in a blender and whiz. If you like yours slushy like a milkshake, add a couple of cubes of ice and blend again. Top with some whipped cream and ENJOY!

The missing link, I think, was the coffee. Ina is always saying just a bit of coffee with chocolate amps up the flavor, but you don’t notice the coffee. I was dubious but willing to try. Boy did it pay off! It makes the whole thing taste like it was made with expensive chocolate. Which is never, ever a bad thing.