Don't eat this...

Well...I won't say don't eat it. Cuz in reality chicken nuggets aren't the most objectionable choice you could make. Maybe not the best, but certainly not the worst. And these guys give you the added benefit of reminding you how many of them you ate. Bought them for the girls and just had to share!

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Now try and tell me that isn't cute. Go ahead! The divas ate 6 of them (they only number up to 3 thankfully) with a big green salad tossed with lite Caesar dressing and fake bacon bits. I admit I had a bite. Juicy on the inside, crunchy on the outside...just like a good nugget should be. One of these babies...a little Frank's Red Hot...mmmmmm...
OK, enough of that!

Funnel cake

So most of you already know this, but for those that don't...funnel cake is basically a glorified pancake. Sorry to ruin any romantic conceptions you had about this summertime carnival treat, but that's basically what it is. The good news? This works to our advantage in creating a WLS friendly version.

3 fundamental problems with traditional funnel cake that make it either uneatable/not worth it to us pouch peeps:

1. It is deep fried - dumping is always a consideration as well as the fact that over consumption of the WRONG types of fats is what got us on the table in the first place
2. Ze carbs! Ze carbs! Need I say more?
3. The 47 lbs. of powdered sugar that comes on it.

Ok, so the things that make a funnel cake...a funnel cake:

1. Shape - it is squiggly and disorganized. You feel like a rebel eating it because it just seems so random and wayward
2. Texture: it is crisy. Mainly from the vat of reused oil it was fried in.
3. Taste- not so much of the funnel cake, although a good base is important. Mostly it's all about the toppings. Namely powdered sugar. I am dumping just thinking about all that sugar. I bought my daughters a funnel cake at a carnival last week and had to stop the lady from pouring on the sugar. But I digress...

So how do we get around it. We need a plan of attack!

Well first off we can't deep fry it. I can't, in good conscience, promote deep frying although it is wonderful and magical and yummy. So we will be pan frying this sucker.

So what about the carbs? Well you all know the answer to that one...Carbquik! This stuff is wonderful for those situations where you just can't get around having a starch.

So here's how it's gonna go down:

1/4 c. Carbquik

1/2 tbsp of some type of oil (I would suggest Canola)

1 egg

1 heaping tbsp Splenda

1 tbsp SF vanilla syrup (I used Torani)

1/8 tsp baking powder

Get a bowl, get a cup. In the bowl combine the CQ and baking powder. Might wanna throw in a dash of salt for good measure. I'm just sayin'. Ok, in the cup, combine the egg, oil, Splenda, and syrup and mix very, very well. Pour wet ingredients into dry and mix thoroughly. CQ will retain some chunkiness from whatever that stuff is that makes it so high in fiber. I don't ask questions. I just eat it. Moving on...

So, next we tackle the shape. We need 2 things to achieve a funnel-cake like shape: heat and control of the batter. So spray a pan with non-stick and put it on high heat until it is hot and then drop it back down to medium flame. While it's heating up get a Ziploc baggie. Put your batter in there. It should be a bit thick. Once you've got it into the bag, cut off one corner with some scissors. Now pipe the batter into your pan in a random fashion. This is also where the pancake thing works to our advantage. You have a minute to take your time with the shaping of the batter so go crazy with it. Have fun. I'll wait.

Mmmkay...so after you have done that...let it sit there for a bit. It will puff up, the edges will pull away from the pan. In fact, it'll look something like this:

Yeah, like that. When it looks like that you should consider flipping it. Now most chefs will tell you to be patient because you only want to flip once. I would tell you the same thing. Make good and sure it is done on the other side before you flip it. Then CAREFULLY flip it. Use a big, wide spatula. Again, I'll wait...

Got it? Ok. So let it chill there for a few moments while we consider toppings. So do you like the powdered sugar? You do? Well do you do well with Splenda? Yes? Ok, so do this:

1 tbsp Splenda

1/2 tbsp cornstarch

Mix well. There you go. Sugar free powdered sugar.

So once your funnel cake is done it should look like this:

Top with powdered sugar and serve. Now my suggestion is to do a fruity topping instead. The powdered sugar was good BUT since we pan fried instead of deep frying, it doesn't have all the moisture that a regular funnel cake would have. Taste? Yes. Shape? Yes. Moisture? Not as much. It's not dry per se, just drier than a normal funnel cake.

Fruity topping can be achieved quite easily by nuking some SF jelly. Easy, right?

Ok, so there is only one problem with this funnel cake from my perspective. You can't eat it at a carnival! But you can eat it at the barbecue when everyone else is eating a bunch of crap you shouldn't or can't have. And don't you dare give them a single bite!

Now if you'll excuse me...I'm off to formulate my very strong case to Carquik about how I should get some kick back from all this pimpage!